I haven't written anything at all lately. Journal or blog. I still need to document everything that's happened since mid-February and trust me, it's a lot of shit. Mostly shitty shit. Not good shit. Brittany's baby daddy Vincent stole all her money from the piggy bank she had for the baby. I don't know if they've talked or not, but Brittany (fortunately) wants nothing to do with him now. Kids like that deserve to be struck by a car. I'm not saying I want him dead. I'm saying I want him to get hit by a car. I've been more and more observant about things like karma lately. What goes around does come around, people. The time it takes to "come around" varies though. Sometimes decades pass.
Man, life is so wild sometimes. My fifteen year old sister is six months pregnant and my family just found this out a little more than a week ago. My fifteen year old cousin who impregnated his fifteen year old girlfriend just had his kid two days ago. What the fuck is going on? I'm not disappointed in them -- fuck it, I'm lying. I am. Especially with Brittany. Nathan and I were never really close, but I know he's a smart kid (sans the impregnating a high school freshman) and that he'll love that kid until his ears bleed. Our generation is so pathetic. I'm not basing this off of my relatives; I'm basing it off of everything. Very few of the kids my age are currently going anywhere. No ambition anymore, and I'm sad to say that I'm gradually becoming just like them. Do I want to do anything with my life and if I do, why? What's the point?
I watched 500 Days of Summer yesterday. I'm not a big fan of the female lead, Zooey Deschanel. I'm pretty sure she was in Yes Man, too. I don't hate her or anything like that. I just don't like her acting. Jesus balls, though, that Joseph Gordon-Levitt kid is just so cute. I would do terrible, terrible things to him. He was in 3rd Rock from the Sun. Little Joseph grew the fuck up, huh? He reminds me a lot of this dude I'm banging. Anyway, yeah. 500 Days of Summer was alright. I missed the first 20 minutes, so maybe I need to watch it again, but I thought it was an average movie overall. Phenomenal soundtrack, though. Those kinds of movies always have a bomb ass soundtrack. At the climax of the movie, a Regina Spektor song I've never heard before called "Hero" played and I nearly cried.
Life is shitty right now in my eyes. I mean, shitty for my usually awesome life. I feel like I'm just fading away. I feel like I'm being consumed by my anxiety. Logan, my cat, leaves home for days at a time and comes back when he so chooses, but he's never been gone this long. I wish he was home. I wish Mia was here, too.
Fuck, has it been a rough new year. Though, 2009 in Alaina-vision sucked, too (except for the music).
David and I broke up. Violently. I'm acting different than I ever have before, but exactly how I used to be at the same time. My psyche is all contorted and I'm wondering whether it's from one thing or another. I'm so lonely all the time. I want to get out and do things, but I fucking panic or someone says something and I get all butt-hurt and nostalgic when I shouldn't. It's slowly waning away, and I want to prove to myself that I'm not co-dependent, because I'm not, but I miss hugs. Hugs are so awesome.
My boyfriend's mother came home from a business trip to Japan today She bought me a Hard Rock Cafe wife-beater that fits almost too perfectly. She got it from Yokohama or Okinawa or something like that. Either way, how cool is that?! On top of that, I finally got my fat ass into (semi)gear and set up the old Dell laptop my father gave me. You can't really use it as a laptop in terms of being able to move it around, but since when do I move anyway? The cord to charge the Dell has to be hung over the screen, hanging down. It won't take a charge, so if I move the computer even slightly, it dies on me. It's frustrating, but you know what? It's a fucking laptop. David's mother has been gone for more than two weeks and when she's gone, David and I are the complete opposite of productive. We sit around and smoke pot and eat all day. It's nice, but it gets old after a while, so I'm obviously real glad to have Deb back.
I've just recently picked up my bass from my father's house and brought it over to my pad. It hasn't been played much, but I have a coworker that's willing to teach me, so I'm motivated. I even went to the local instrument store and asked an employee there for some advice. My bass is a First Act, so it's pretty much the most worthless type of instrument offered on the market besides a Hanna Montana guitar. Still, for a hundred and fifty bucks (I didn't buy it), I got a bass, two picks, a carrying case, a tiny little amp that I fucking love, and a book that I lost. I bought a thicker pick that won't break from the thick ass bass strings and another "How to" book on playing bass that looks pretty useful. Now I just have to work up the courage to play the damn thing knowing that other people can hear me.
Here's a song to listen to so you don't just have to deal with text.
This is easily my viral video of the week. Obama's several nation diss? A thing of the past!
If you want to get to the part where it started getting real good (it's all pretty amazing, mind you) go from 1:40 on. It doesn't get boring until the end commentary. It's just that impressive.
