let it pour

Have you ever sneezed into a fan and had your sneeze spit blown back into your face? Yeah, that's probably the best way to describe how my day's been going so far. I'm seriously starting to act my age in the sense that I just canNOT accept myself for who I am. I feel like a failure constantly so imagine what happens when I actually mess up. All I want to do for days after is bash my head onto solid concrete a billion times.

Other than me hating myself x1000 everything is dandy. I have the coolest person in the world as a boyfriend (I think), work is fine, and Logan is doing great. He's getting bigger and bigger every day! I think it's thanks to Logan that my family life is slowly improving. At least I think. I'm trying to put more effort into it as well. The school search is on. I'm looking at college websites right now. I hope to have figured out where I'm going and what I'm doing before the end of the week. It's not gonna happen. Hahah.

Give me mono.

Again my school is trying to tell me I haven't graduated. Today I received a letter saying that I have to pass two senior required classes, American government and Economics. Those were probably the last two classes I took before I was told that I graduated. The funniest thing is that on the opposite side of the paper that they sent me, it states that I'd taken and passed both classes. Piedmont Hills, you're so much fail.

I'm finally deciding to go pescatarian full fledged again. No more meat sans fish, which is really unfortunate considering my father's girlfriend just made a mean smelling meatloaf.

I don't have much else to say other than that, although I do have my first get-rich-quick scheme. I can't divulge details quite yet. ;)

play Monopoly.

everfresh

I figured out my college situation. The scholarship I won doesn't expire for two years. I've decided to go to San Jose City because it has a better curriculum than that of Evergreen, and I'm not going this semester. I'm taking the spring semester that starts either the 10th or 12th of February 2010. I've updated my resume and have every intention of working two jobs until next semester.

Sorry I haven't posted -- been busy. I'll try to get back into the swing of things.

repeat chorus (x42)

God damn, dude. My love handles haven't been this predominant since I was about thirteen. I haven't had a legitimate workout (other than sex) in weeks. My little formation of abs is practically gone and looking in the mirror is not a good thing for me to do, more so now than ever. My excuse is that I've been busy, but really I'm not. I'm only working fourteen hours this week, I have no homework, nor any other obligatory tasks to complete (for the most part). I did finally go for a jog around the block like I used to do last night. I was so elated when I came home it was sad. Other than my crippling self-esteem, work is going fine. I've found a method to keeping my left lip piercing open, but it's only a matter of time before my co-workers notice. Until then, I'm happy. I went to the luncheon for my scholarship today held by Kawannis at (something) Mia's in downtown San Jose. I still speak in front of crowds terribly. I have a facial twitch and it was goin' off like a motherfucker. I was so embarrassed, but more so disappointed in myself for not being able to accomplish the simple feat of talking to a crowd of fifty plus people. It's not that bad.

Look, a giraffe.

feelings of bore

I graduated high school today -- a high school graduate at sixteen; that's not too bad. My father gave me the choice of going to a junior college or getting a job. He said I don't have to do both. I'm leaning more towards the job for a year for a number of reasons. With my dad possibly losing his job, tuition will be harder to pay, even with my scholarship. I'm a year ahead, and if I work for a full year without having to pay rent or bills, I'll have enough money saved up for tuition for a good long time. I have other reasons that I can't recall currently, but they're good reasons. My resume is all finished and printed out, and I'll be turning in several applications very shortly. Frankly, I'm hoping for a job at Jamba Juice. I love that shit. Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been busy.

move up move on move in

Not the most productive day, but not the least productive either. I got my prom ticket today when I visited Piedmont. Apparently it's a masquerade. It's a masquerade and I wear glasses. I have no optometry insurance at the moment, and won't for a long, long time. I don't want to wear a mask over my glasses. That's just ridiculous. I've also eaten, like, two pounds of food today, and haven't been to the gym in about a week. I'm not too happy with myself.